Colossians 3:18–19

Context

Colossians is traditionally regarded as a letter from Paul to the church at Colossae in Asia Minor, though some scholars hold that a disciple of Paul wrote it in his name. The first part of chapter 3 describes the life of the new self that has been raised with Christ. This passage opens the section (3:18–4:1) that applies that exhortation to household life. Scholars call this section the "household code" (German Haustafel). The household code addresses three pairs in turn: wives and husbands, children and parents, and slaves and masters; this passage covers the first pair. The immediately preceding verse 17, "And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus," serves as the standard for all the exhortations that follow.

Interpretation

The Greek verb behind the phrase in verse 19 rendered "be not bitter against them" means "to make bitter" or "to treat harshly." It is therefore usually understood as forbidding a husband's harsh words and cold treatment of his wife.

• Traditional and complementarian reading: This view holds that the husband's leading role and the wife's submission within the household reflect God's will as grounded in the order of creation. It stresses, however, that because the husband is also given the duty to love, his authority must take the form of service rather than domination. This position is known as complementarianism.
• Historical-cultural reading: Greco-Roman society of the time had an ethic of household management in which the head of the household ruled over his wife, children, and slaves. This reading notes that the text borrows that framework while adding the standard "in the Lord" and placing obligations on the husband as well. Some proponents of this reading regard the command to submit as counsel intended to keep the church from being misunderstood in the society of its day, and hold that it need not be applied literally today.
• Egalitarian reading: On the basis of Ephesians 5:21, "Submitting yourselves one to another," and Colossians 3:11, this view locates the heart of the marital relationship in mutual love and respect.

Controversies and Issues

Differences of opinion over this passage are more pronounced within denominations than between them. Most interpreters hold, on the basis of the phrase "in the Lord," that the passage does not require compliance with demands that contradict faith and conscience. Critics both inside and outside the church have also pointed out that verse 18, taken in isolation, has been cited to justify domestic violence or one-sided sacrifice. Those who raise this concern argue that verse 18 must always be read together with verse 19. Whether the household code should be extended to questions of church office or kept distinct from them also bears on the debate over the ordination of women.

In the Korean Church

Along with Ephesians 5, the passage is frequently used as a text for exhortations to married couples in sermons at wedding services, officiants' addresses, and marriage seminars.

Related Passages

• Ephesians 5:21–25
• 1 Peter 3:1–7
• Colossians 3:14
• Genesis 2:20–24
• 1 Corinthians 11:11–12