Honoring Parents

Definition and Meaning

Honoring parents refers to children respecting, caring for, and serving their parents. The Korean term gonggyeong (恭敬) means to serve and attend to someone with reverence. The Hebrew word translated "honor" in the Bible is explained as originally meaning "to regard as heavy," that is, to treat as precious. Protestants do not limit honoring parents to obedience in childhood. They understand it to include the responsibility of supporting and caring for aging parents after children reach adulthood.

Biblical Background

Honoring parents is one of the Ten Commandments. Exodus 20:12 and Deuteronomy 5:16 command, "Honour thy father and thy mother," and add the promise "that thy days may be long upon the land." Most Protestant churches, including Presbyterians and Methodists, count this as the Fifth Commandment. The Catholic Church and Lutherans divide the commandments differently and count it as the Fourth.

In the New Testament, Jesus criticized the practice of the Pharisees and scribes who invoked the rule of "Corban" (meaning a gift dedicated to God) to evade the duty of supporting their parents (Mark 7:9-13). On the cross, he entrusted his mother Mary to his disciple John (John 19:26-27). In Ephesians 6:1-3, Paul calls this commandment "the first commandment with promise," and in 1 Timothy 5:4, 8 he teaches that caring for one's family, especially one's parents, is a duty of faith. Matthew 10:37, by contrast, states that even love for one's parents cannot take precedence over following Christ. This verse is often cited alongside the others in discussions of the limits of honoring parents.

Practice in the Korean Church

In the Korean church, honoring parents receives strong emphasis because it intersects with the Confucian culture of filial piety (hyo, 孝). Early Protestants were criticized as unfilial for rejecting ancestral rites. In response, the church stressed that the Bible also teaches honoring parents, and it established the memorial service as a replacement for ancestral rites. Today most Protestant denominations recommend memorial services or holiday family worship in place of ancestral rites. The Catholic Church, by contrast, permits ancestral rites under certain conditions. This topic is treated in detail in the article Ancestral Rites and Memorial Services.

Many churches observe the Sunday closest to Parents' Day (May 8) as Parents' Sunday; it usually falls the week after Children's Sunday. On this day, congregations pin carnations on parents, hold events honoring the elderly, and hear sermons on honoring parents. In families where parents oppose the Christian faith, tension can arise between a commitment to faith and the duty to honor one's parents. In such cases, the church generally teaches believers to remain faithful while continuing to respect and serve their parents.